Reasons why you struggle in relationships


The reason you find yourself in a repeated cycle of similar bad relationships is because you consciously or subconsciously attract them to yourself.

Leave your past in the past where it belongs. play Leave your past in the past where it belongs.
(Pinterest)
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A friend once told me that she keeps attracting the wrong set of people into her life leaving her questioning herself and everything else surrounding her life.

I thought to myself; that there are so many people like my friend who believe they give so much of themselves to people but yet get so little from them. In their relationships, they work so hard on them and tick all the boxes just to please the other but still end up disappointed and heartbroken.  When this cycle continues, we may find ourselves in a depressive mode filled with anxiety and we wonder if worthy relationships exist and if they do, they are not meant for us.
When we start having these profound thoughts and let them build up on our inside, we settle for less than we deserve and hang on to a relationship that was already doomed because we are afraid we may never find it better. The reason you find yourself in a repeated cycle of similar bad relationships is because you consciously or subconsciously attract them to yourself.
Yes it is the hard truth but then it is the truth. What type of energy do you vibrate? As this is a very important question you should ask yourself and find answers to. If you keep dating the wrong type of people all the time, you probably have an unconscious pattern you follow or there is something in your life, past or present that you desperately try to get away from or shut out but on the reverse, you draw them to yourself.
They work so hard on them and tick all the boxes just to please the other but still end up disappointed and heartbroken. play They work so hard on them and tick all the boxes just to please the other but still end up disappointed and heartbroken.
(In Wealth & Health)

Read Also: The truth about self.
There are issues in our lives; past or present that we simply can’t do away with by fighting them, we do away with them by dealing with those issues and dusting them for good out of our lives.

Identify those patterns and deal with them

Is there a reoccurring pattern or behaviour in your relationships that you need to put an end to? Maybe there is something that happened in your past relationship or your childhood experience that has modelled you into seeking people with particular traits in them and now without knowing it, you are drawn to a particular set of people who happen to be the wrong choices for you. 
For instance, I know of people who are only attracted to much older men while I’ve come across someone who feels very unsettled and unloved if the man she’s dating or married to does not beat her. Some have ruined their relationships because of the need to be very controlling while some cannot do without being suspicious of every move their partner makes and when their partner is so transparent, they become suspicious of the transparency.
Your hidden fear attracts the wrong people to you while your packaged attitude ruins those relationships. If your drive for a particular type of relationship comes from the depth of fear of a battle within you then a pattern is developed. Some patterns are good enough while some are the reasons behind your frustration in relationships.

Value and focus on yourself

You need to rewire your subconscious self and let your past stay in the past. Take control of who you are now and who you have become. Value yourself and time enough not to waste them on people who are emotionally and physically unavailable to you. Release yourself from those repeated patterns dragging wrong people to.
Take control of who you are. play Take control of who you are.
(FOW 24 NEWS)

Convince yourself that you are worth much more than what these relationships bring to you and stop devaluing yourself. Dwell more on what you want in your relationship and what you also want out of it then life will bring to you those who have more to offer you.

Trust yourself and your instinct

I have learned that when you listen to yourself, it speaks to you. If it doesn’t feel right, it is not right and if it doesn’t look right, you could be right. Don’t hang in there to find out why it is not right…just take a walk. Let your instinct be your guide as God has deposited it in us for a reason. Stop explaining the situation away and be giving yourself reasons to hold on to it and end up in regrets.
Read Also: Helpful tips in marriage.

You simply can’t change them

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and then know how almost impossible it is to change another person. Break that cycle of hanging on to a relationship with the hope they might change eventually…no! They won’t change and definitely you can’t change them. People change when they are ready to, if they want to and not because someone is working so hard to change them.
Say no to what is unhealthy for you and say yes to a new world with happy ending. play Say no to what is unhealthy for you and say yes to a new world with happy ending.
(Essence)

Stop comparing the present with the past

When you recognise what the pattern is, make a conscious decision not to go through that route again. Leave your past in the past where it belongs. You cannot keep carrying the ‘past’ baggage around in the present. Move forward and never look back except when looking at how far you’ve gone.
Never compare your hurtful past relationships with the present one and fear that it might end like others in the past. Stay positive and go with the flow. It might not be easy at first as it is an unknown and probably scary zone but it’s a step worth taking. Say no to what is unhealthy for you and say yes to a world of new, scary life but with happy ending

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