Relationships: Masterpieces that heal


A common theme with people who struggle in our society is the disconnect of their relationships. They often report that “isolated,” “withdrawn” and “emotionally empty” are the characteristics that define their world.
Reflecting on destructive relationship patterns reminds me of one of the creeds that legendary coach John Wooden tried to live by. When Wooden graduated from grade school in the early 1920s, his father, Joshua Wooden, gave him a handwritten list of “Seven Things to Do.” This gift became the foundation of the principles that guided him for the remainder of his exemplary journey.
The wisdom was simple yet profound, especially when addressing relationships. No. 5 stated: Make friendship a fine art.
John Wooden expanded on these words of guidance in his own writings. He wrote about the nature of healthy relationships, not taking friendships for granted, giving and sharing of one's self, being intentional about friendship-building, and working at it to make it a fine art. True relationships show concern and consideration for others, and these type of connections are valuable, powerful tools that help get us through difficult times.
In today's fast-paced, self-centered, immediate-gratification world, genuine relationships are rare, often replaced by brief, superficial, technology-driven interactions.
Interpersonal interactions based on trust, honesty, acceptance and accountability are essential to overall mental health. The main difference between the types of relationships we develop is how much we invest in terms of time, energy and commitment.
Quality connections do not just happen. Like fine paintings, relationships take preparation. Instead of an easel, paint, brushes, vision and a plan for a masterpiece, these bonds need the willingness of a sacrificial heart and basic communication skills to help grow beyond a superficial level.
People skills are one of our most important assets. They can help to build relationships that provide a lasting foundation; lacking them can shatter connections and leave us isolated, bitter and alone.
The art of communication is key to good people skills. Principles of good communication include listening, expressing feelings, acceptance and appropriately setting boundaries without offending others.
Establishing healthy relationships is a work in progress. Efforts that take time, energy, sacrifice and resources often seem to be a challenge, but they fill us with a sense of belonging and being valued by others, which enhances our overall well-being and infuses a richness into our lives.
Vince Mercuri, executive director of the Open Door Alcohol/Drug Treatment Center and Crisis Intervention Program in Indiana, Pa., is a member of the Valley News Dispatch Editorial Board.

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