Why are we so obsessed with Normal People and watching other people's relationships?

From spawning a spoof Instagram account of lead character Connell’s chain, to DIY tutorial’s about how to cut your own Marianne-esque fringe, there’s little doubt that the obsession surrounding Normal People will be one of things to define lockdown 2020.

Earlier this week BBC Three revealed the adaptation of Sally Rooney’s award-winning novel had delivered the channel its best ever week for programme requests, more than doubling the previous record held by Killing Eve.

The hit show was requested more than 21.8 million times on BBC iPlayer in the week since it first dropped on 26 April.
ICYNW (In Case You’re Not Watching - who even are you?) Normal People follows Marianne (Daisy Edgar-Jones) and Connell (Paul Mescal), in a coming-of-age love story of two Irish teenagers navigating an on-off relationship while struggling with the class and social barriers that regularly throw a spanner in the works.
And it has given us all lockdown life (and not just because Connell is EVERYTHING!)
As the name suggests, however, there is actually nothing extraordinary about the story, or the characters in it. In fact, it’s pretty ordinary.

Of course, there is something utterly compelling about watching the everyday ordinariness of people’s lives, particularly people’s relationships.  
When we’re used to the whistles and bells love stories we see in Hollywood productions, it is somewhat refreshing to delve into a stripped back, simple story that feels somewhat more true to life, in all its raw, painful awkwardness.
And by God some of the scenes are so intimately awkward it almost feels like you’re intruding just by watching.

The lure of the on-off relationship

According to chartered psychologist Dr Audrey Tang, author of The Leader’s Guide to Resilience due out in late 2020, it’s the underlying ‘we can’t deny our love’ sense of chemistry between Marianne and Connell that has so captured viewers.
She has a point. Fundamentally what makes the series so utterly absorbing is the will-they-won’t-they relationship between the series lead characters, which often leaves us flitting restlessly between tears of joy and frustration.
“Any form of cliff hanger is a draw – it is the soap opera playbook,” explains Dr Tang. “But the stories where we are more likely to root for the characters is when, as is definitely the case in Normal People, the characters, when together, being out the best in each other. 
“Because you can see how holistic they make each other, you are more likely to root for the relationship – not for the relationship but for the outcome.”

The Love Island Effect

Dr Tang believes the awkwardness of first love depicted by Connell and Marianne has the same raw feel as captured by earlier UK comedies such as Inbetweeners, Coupling and the ‘dramady’ Cold Feet, and of course reality TV shows about finding love such as Love Island and Love is Blind.
She believes it is this ‘truth’ of emotions that has probably resonated with many.
So what is it about other people's relationships that people seem to find so fascinating?
Dr Tang believes the success of this show, and others like it, is partly about relating things back to your own experiences of love and loss.
“If you connect with the fundamental traits of a character, you may well be able to better understand the consequences of your actions, or why others may relate to you in such a way,” she explains.
“Watching relationships also enables us to talk more freely about the points they raise…Connell and Marianne’s behaviour becomes like the proverbial ‘…asking for a friend’,” she adds.

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