In What Ways Can Porn Use Cause Problems?

New research on sexual satisfaction, loneliness, and relationship stability.

The impact of pornography on relationships, individual health and society is in the public eye more than ever before. Pornography use is widespread, and often problematic, and has been shown to generally have a negative impact on couples and gender relations, leading men and women to devalue one another. While there may be exceptions in which pornography depicts healthy sexual activity and respectful gender relations, the rule is that pornography is dominated by hostile sexism, frequently violent, and generally dehumanization and objectification. Because of how sex impacts the brain, pornography essentially short-circuits other systems, becoming not only addictive but also undermining secure attachment, mutual relatedness, and intimacy. As with other similar behaviors, pornography use may also be stigmatized, responded to with judgment and criticism, rather than from a potentially more constructive, curious and non-judgmental point of view.
On the rise.
As pornography evolves, it becomes stronger, driven by easy internet access and advancing technology—though old-fashioned pre-recorded videos are still the most commonly used form of porn. When virtual and augmented reality (VR and AR) really kick-off, pornography will become an even more powerful genie, almost impossible to get back into the bottle. As with so many technologies our culture produces, in spite of growing research and awareness, there is very little foresight in preventing future harm.
Especially for younger generations, so-called "digital natives", as the internet and advanced computer tech has become part of the fabric of day-to-day life and identity, the risk presented by unchecked pornography grows ever greater. While it is possible to imagine VR and AR being used to enhance intimacy and sexuality, porn appears to mainly be driving us further and further apart from one another. Sex is still largely closeted, and sex education limited. Educational institutions and families often gloss over sex, even more of an issue nowadays as kids often have free and unsupervised access to the internet, including getting into vast troves of pornography earlier and earlier in psychosexual development. It is incumbent on parents to pay attention to what kids are doing, more important and more difficult now than ever before.
Pornography is used by a majority of both men and women, though men are more frequent consumers of pornography. While pornography is accepted by some couples and in some cultures more than others, by and large pornography use, within the context of a committed long-term relationship, is interpreted as a form of infidelity. More consistent pornography use is generally seen as a sign of relationship and sexual dissatisfaction, a form of infidelity for starters, as individuals turn away from one another and increase the chance of breaking up by using porn. For some couples, pornography may stabilize an unsatisfying sex life, but research and clinical experience suggests that porn, at least in its present incarnation, is not generally good for individuals or relationships because of how it tends to interfere with intimacy and set expectations regarding sexuality.