Relationship goals

You can’t change what you not ready to quit. You are what you repeatedly do. Your habitual behavior often goes unnoticed because you don’t need to engage in self-analysis when undertaking routine tasks. Many people are just going through life. Just like that. Passing through. Letting time tick away. Fast. Letting things happen. Letting every day be just like the day before and the day after. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing you read about in history books. Nothing unique. Just average. Can things be different for you? Of course they can. You just need to start taking control of your life right now! Define your identity Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you want to be known for?What standards have you set for yourself? Define your most important role in this world and start shaping your reality based on that. You are YOU. Your challenge in life, in fact your life’s work, is to become the best possible version of you. Not an imperfect approximation of someone e...

Conventional wisdom tells us that balance is key to happiness. I object. Trying to live a “balanced life” sounds good, but I speak self-help BS, so let me translate: “live a balanced life” really means “frantically try to do everything.” Ironically, our desire for balance is a driver of chaos. Am I really “supposed” to have a thriving business, excellent relationships and romantic prospects, great physical and mental health, adventurous travel plans, once-per-week volunteering, and responsible money management and investments, PLUS a nicely trimmed beard? Is that the life I need to be happy? That’s just unreasonable when you add in the beard. That takes like… three minutes! Guys, I don’t even have children. I can’t imagine adding “raise a human being” to my already-overwhelming list of things I “should” have for a balanced life. Many people have multiple children! Whew. How can it be done? It can’t be done. Not all of it. Here’s the truth: I’m doing superbly in some of tho...

We all have habits that we’d like to build. We want to go to the gym three times a week, we want to meditate 20 minutes a day, or we want to write 1,000 words a day. As is usually the case, we dream a little too big. The vision of that dream gets in the way of making it a reality. These sound like modest goals, but they’re actually big and scary. They’re just big enough that excuses are easy to make. We’re kinda tired, so we’ll go to the gym tomorrow , or we don’t have time to meditate this morning. The Press fieldian Resistance is too much, and the excuses we make protect us from feeling bad about not building the habit. So, the habit never gets built. The problem is that building the habit itself is an accomplishment. Writing 1,000 words for one day, in itself, is another accomplishment. Your brain can only handle so many accomplishments at once. When you start bunching them together, it makes it easy for your ego to hide, like a wounded monkey in a tree, far from the ...

A couple of months ago a friend invited me to a concert in Bangkok. I had never heard the band’s name before. They charged almost $20 a ticket. Which is a ridiculous amount of money if you consider the fact that you can easily eat out in Bangkok for something like $2. And when I got there the show was sold out. And everybody was going crazy. I didn’t really understand what was going on. I had never even heard their name or any of their songs before. And there I was surrounded by hundreds of people having the best time of their lives enjoying the show of a small band from the UK performing thousands and thousands of miles away from their home town. And I didn’t even feel like what they did was anything special. They were just playing music. Nothing special. There was nothing extraordinary about their music and their songs. Until I got it. Until I realized what was going on… You know, we all talk about how the internet changed the game. And how you can reach pretty much everyone on pl...

here are plenty of labels assigned to chronically single women , but there’s one in particular that’s dipped in blame with just a touch of accusation. I’ve heard the word for most of my adult life, even dating back to my teen years. “Picky.” I was often labeled “picky” by a myriad of men who saw my single status as a sign that I was doing something wrong, occasionally by friends who were paired off and wanted me to be, sometimes by family members who knew nothing of my dating history. “Well, you must be picky.” I never liked being called “picky.” It seemed petty. The word made me feel like I was some dreamy young girl with her head in the stars. It made me contemplate questions like, “Am I being too hard on men?” or “Is what I want unrealistic?” See, entertaining the word “picky” is the gateway drug to settling. Most of us have had at least one spark-filled relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner who didn’t really want to commit . The kind that left us thinking, ...

Living with ALS can cause dramatic changes to your relationships. When I felt my relationships fracturing under the strain of my disease and growing disabilities, I realized I needed help. So, I turned to my best friend, Melissa Rothstein, who has always given me great advice. Melissa has been living with Crohn’s disease for 10 years, so I knew she would understand my situation. Plus, as a program coordinator at the Wellness Center at UC Davis, she saw the isolation disabled students faced. She worked with the counseling staff to build a community among the struggling students. In doing so, Melissa became an expert on managing relationships while dealing with disabilities. As we worked through individual challenges when they arose, I began to put together a list of ways to strengthen my relationships. I interviewed Melissa to gain some final insights and help me articulate my thoughts. Thank goodness I did because she reminded me that self-care is a vital part of a he...

Adultery is no picnic for anyone involved, but it happens - quite a lot actually. Monogamy might be the traditional ideal, but with one in five British adults having affairs, it’s not always the reality. Read more The body language change that could be a sign of cheating It’s systemic across genders too, with men most likely to unlawfully canoodle with work colleagues, while women go for male “friends”. So, what is it about cheating that seduces so many of us? We spoke to relationships coach Dee Holmes at Relate to uncover the most common emotional triggers that are leading partners astray. Resentment Some people cheat out of resentment, Holmes told The Independent . When someone feels neglected in the relationship because a partner is spending most of their time at work or isn’t giving them their full attention, it can lead to adulterous relationships as a way of that person regaining control. This motivation for cheating could be interpreted as a ...

Straight women who've spent any amount of time dating in the hopes of finding someone to build a relationship with know that trying to figure out our male counterparts can be utterly baffling. If you find yourself contemplating why some guys don't want relationships , the answer is actually much more obvious than most of us would have ever thought. After finally crossing paths with someone you're really into, it's only a matter of time before you might start wondering how to play your cards right so you can end up with the guy of your dreams, just in time for cuffing season to commence . But depending on his maturity level and what type of commitment he's open to, there's a chance he could just be looking to get laid. Elite Daily reached out to Mark Stefanishyn , dating coach and founder of Relationship Minimalism — a relationship system designed to teach men how to create loving environments for women — to better understand why so many men seem to be...

I like to think that badass means that you are strong in your convictions, whether that applies to your career, to standing up for yourself, to your ethics and morals, even simply to sports. I’d like to share what I believe are the five essential qualities of a badass parent: Badass parents are mindful and conscious,  aware of their internal landscape when addressing issues with children. They practice being mindful of their children and of themselves. Badass parents are emotionally intelligent and good listeners. They don’t judge their children’s feelings, keeping in mind that feelings are not right or wrong. Badass parents are honorable,  accepting and respecting their kids for themselves. They recognize that each child is unique and deserves to shine in his or her own way. Badass parents practice kindness … always. They don’t use bad language or scream at their kids. And if they’ve had an outburst, they apologize to the kids. Badass parents make time to do nothing w...

Most of us judge people’s worth based on what we see and hear. The car they drive. The job they have. The skills they acquired. The color of their skin (more often than not). We look at these teeny clues to tell us whether someone will succeed in life, and whether they’re worth pursuing a “serious” relationship with. After all, don’t we all want to bump up our status, wealth and lifestyle? Little do we know though, there’s one factor we often miss that shows someone’s worth even better. That’s… How much they create vs how much they consume in a day. Everyday. Let me explain. When someone creates, they bring something useful to the world. Maybe it’s a story that makes people cry, a photo that fascinates the mind, a video that educates people , an app that speeds up productivity. Whatever it is, somebody is acknowledging their work. Somebody is considering them for future opportunities. Sooner or later, if they keep persisting, they’ll hit it off. That could be thousands of fans, t...

1) Make language learning a daily habit People complain that they can’t learn a language because it is too difficult or they aren’t “good” at languages. In reality, the number one reason for failure is that people can’t get themselves to practice the language consistently. To achieve this consistency, you need to develop daily habits . Habits are key to behaviour change because once you form them, you don’t need to rely on willpower or motivation. As Maneesh Sethi puts it: “Think about how it feels to go to bed without brushing your teeth. It feels wrong. You feel like your day isn’t complete - and you’ll even drag yourself out of bed to do it. Why? Because brushing is so deeply ingrained into your daily routine that it actually requires more willpower to NOT brush than just to brush! It’s a deeply formed habit - and you rarely miss a day.” How much faster would you improve if you could form similar daily habits with language learning? A habit is usually made up of thr...