No, You Shouldn’t Always Do What “Feels” Right


I’ve written so many articles about following your dreams that this piece is about to feel VERY awkward to write.

I’ll just come right out and say it: you shouldn’t always do what feels right.

I know this raises the question of:

When do we know to trust our gut and when not to?

Before I answer that, I have to setup why I’m writing about this.

I recently posted a status on LinkedIn (and the Post-Grad Survivors Facebook Group) about a time where I got my hand bitten off by my old college:

The fact of the matter is, I’ve done what’s “felt” right so many times in my life only to get my hand bitten off in the end.

Which, ladies and gentleman, leads me to this article.

When Should We Trust Our Gut, And When Shouldn’t We?

Why did I reach my hand out to my alma mater in the first place? They NEVER treated me all that great to begin with.

The years away from that place must have softened my heart. I always revert back to trying to love everybody in the end — no matter what they did to me.

EXAMPLE: I tried to re-build a relationship with one of my greatest friends on multiple occasions, but after receiving little to no communication back I came to a humbling realization:

She simply didn’t give a shit about me anymore.

It’s really as straightforward as that.

It “felt” right to reach back out to her. I thought that’s all I needed to make things better, and I thought that’s what she wanted, too.

But it wasn’t.

Guys, we shouldn’t keep making the effort with people that have showed uson multiple occasions they don’t care anymore.

“On multiple occasions” is the key word there.

It’s okay to get fooled once. Heck, it’s fine to get fooled twice (because I think everybody deserves a second chance). But if you keep running into a dead end with certain people over and over again even if it does “feel” right, then that’s on you.

When contemplating making an effort with someone, think on the past. If there’s a history there of them mistreating you, pull your hand away from the trigger.

I’m not saying you should give up on that relationship entirely, I’m just saying there’s no sense in reaching out first anymore. Quite frankly, maybe they’ve gotten used to that.

What About At Work?

This can apply to things past relationships. What about applying for work?

Don’t apply to a job that feels comfortable but you’ve hated in the past.

It just comes down to knowing yourself.

Humans Are Emotional Creatures

So many people make the dumbest emotional decisions day in and day out. They believe things will work out with a person (or a job) because of pride, fear, or a variety of other things. Don’t let this happen.

Face the music, take a hard look at the past, then make a logical decision.

Logic is so underrated these days.

Have you ever thought about the lifespan of an argument? It starts with two people, then things start escalating until they bubble over and a full-scale verbal fight occurs.

Obviously both parties lose their head, start saying shit that “feels” right in the moment, and then separate and go off on their own because they’re quite frankly disgusted with the other person.

Then after an hour they realize how stupid the whole thing was. They finally realize the LOGIC behind the argument, and all the stupid stuff they said that “felt” right in the moment, but wasn’t actually true.

Try to live in this state of mind instead of the “full-scale-verbal-warfare” type. It can actually save you so much heartache in the end.

It’s tough to go against what we WANT to do in the moment, but after a couple weeks or months, you’ll notice your feelings start to fade away, and logic will come over and rest its arm around your shoulder.

Then you’ll know this was the best way all along.

You’ll FEEL that way, too.

Don’t ALWAYS Give Up On Your Feelings

In conclusion, I wanted to offer up a little hope to everyone reading. I’m not steering you clear of taking chances. I don’t want to extinguish your burning desire to, for instance, quit your job and travel the world just because people have failed in the past.

I’m just urging you to take a look at the tale of YOUR OWN tape here. Has adventure worked out for you well in the past? If so, maybe quitting your job to travel the world would suit you. Maybe what you FEEL and what you’re CAPABLE OF match up there.

Always look at your own personal track record.

Life makes the most sense when what we feel and what will actually happen blend together like musical instruments.

That’s where you want to be, but you can’t get there without taking an honest look at yourself first.

I hope each and every one of you do.www.lastdon.org

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