New year provides time to make relationships healthier/happier

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My friend headed to the gym last weekend, and reported that it was swarming with newcomers. No big surprise, since so many folks are determined to become sleeker and stronger in the new year.

Looking back on my own past resolutions, I’ll admit that cutting back on fattening treats and taking long treks usually topped my list.

These are fine goals, but it’s also important to get our relationships in better shape. Here are pointers that may help:

1. Praise more and criticize less. Too often, TV comedies feature wives who belittle their husbands to their friends. We also see couples at parties, with one mate sharing stories that unleash laughter because of their partner’s mistakes, clumsiness or other flaws.

Humor at another person’s expense is cruelty, pure and simple. If you must say something about your sweetheart in public, try praising him, as in, “John finished the basement last week — and it looks great.”

Avoid taking an underhanded swipe at her with, “By the time she redecorates the nursery, the baby will be in graduate school.”

2. Thank your loved ones for little deeds. Often, we’ll thank a stranger for opening the door for us, but ignore a friend who does the same thing.

Did Mr. Husband put away the dishes? Did Mrs. Wife pick up your dry-cleaning? Did your next-door neighbor sweep up a pile of leaves near your house? Just a simple “Thank you” or “That was kind of you” can work wonders.

Let’s keep in mind that the children around us model their behavior on adults, so our gratitude may unleash a domino effect in their lives.

One of my favorite songs “Watching You” features a father who realizes his little boy imitates his every move. And that includes a bad word the child utters when his French fries get upended — and kneeling down to say prayers at bedtime.

3. Don’t overburden your friends with complaints. The meeting at work was a fiasco, the car is making weird moaning noises and the toddler painted a mural on the wall with pureed carrots.

You may be longing to unload your angst on your bestie or spouse, but don’t bombard the poor souls with negatives.

We can sprinkle flowers among the weeds of our complaints: Little Sally passed her math test, Johnny practiced piano for an hour — and Fido declared a truce with the neighbor’s cat, Fang.

4. Find people to help. A lady I once knew was so keen on helping other people that even when she was elderly and infirm, and residing in a nursing home, she still sought out other residents to visit.

A good place to start is your local church or synagogue, where you’ll find ministries to prisoners, homeless people, and homebound and hospitalized folks.

A short visit can be a precious gift for someone who rarely gets outside, and perhaps has been forgotten by family members. Ask your pastor or rabbi for a list — and you might be surprised at how long it is.

5. Don’t let your devices ruin relationships. Most of us turn off our phones when we’re sitting down to chat with friends or family.

But some folks, who’d never dream of reading a book while dining with friends in a restaurant, will compulsively check their phones as if awaiting a divine revelation from above.

We all could use a break from tweeting and texting, plus checking Facebook to discover how many “likes” we got on that last post.

Sadly, it’s easy to become addicted to social media, but we can break the habit in the new year. Life is too short to ignore the people around us. After all, we can recharge our devices, but when a relationship fizzles out, there’s no easy fix.