Some tips all healthy relationships need, according to an expert



Romantic relationships, in all of their complexity, are a fundamental component of our lives. And as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke mused, “There is scarcely anything more difficult than to love one another.”

Relationships cannot survive on their own. They need the care and nurturing of two adults, giving to each other in a way that creates a mutually beneficial connection.

Here are 5 key tips on how to foster a deep and loving relationship:

1. Nurture self-love

The way you treat yourself sets the standards for others. Being needy, insecure, and trying to gain approval and a sense of self-worth from your partner puts a huge amount of pressure on them, and it’s a major turn-off.

It’s an unachievable task because feeling inherently loved and worthy comes from within, not from your partner.

High self-esteem predicts better relationship satisfaction, and high self-esteem of both partners is an even better predictor of strong relationship satisfaction.

Moreover, people with high self-esteem appear to respond more constructively and positively during conflict when they think their partner is committed to the relationship, whereas people with low self-esteem don’t do this even when they believe their partner is committed.

An outstanding love comes from two whole people coming together to share and enhance their already full lives. So putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s necessary.

When we truly love and respect ourselves, we are free from doubt and endless worry so we trust our feelings and decisions. It allows us to be courageous and authentic.


Daily Dilemma: Sex every night for a year


2. Trust

This may seem obvious, but so many people are with partners they don’t trust. Work on building your confidence and loving yourself completely prior to setting foot in another relationship. The stronger you are as an individual, the easier it will become to trust. And if your partner really isn’t trustworthy, ask yourself why you’re staying. The answer to that question is directly related to your self-worth. True freedom in a relationship comes from the power of honesty.

Without talking, your relationship will not survive. The more you communicate, the closer you will be. The willingness to work through difficulties and disagreements is paramount. Throwing in the towel, even if you don’t walk out the door, is not the path to happiness. You must face the discomfort that comes with differing opinions and ideas.

3. See the best in your partner and the relationship

Research on perception and attention shows that we see more of what we look for, so if you’re looking for signs of kindness, that’s more likely to stand out to you. How you think about and interpret your partner’s actions, intentions, and words also affects how you feel and understand a situation with them, which in turn affects how you behave toward them.

Put it into practice. Spend a week looking for anything and everything your partner does “right.” An amazing relationship comes about when we own and appreciate who we are and completely accept the other people for who they are.

4. Kind, constant, and honest communication

Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection.

A healthy conversation between two people does not result in raised voices or vicious attacks. Communicate to each other with love and compassion. Make sure you always have something to look forward to and that you are pursuing it as a couple.

5. Make your apology count

It’s well understood that apologising is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.

Accept that your partner feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologise for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.

Foundations are the key to maintaining your relationship and will determine the quality and success of it years down the track. A house must be built on solid foundations if it is to last. The same principle applies to relationships

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why sexting is something you should definitely do in a relationship

Image
Cristiano Babin/Getty I Although some people make it seem like sexting is something new and unique to the digital age, the art of sending steamy messages to a sexual partner is centuries old. It’s just a hell of a lot easier these days to contact someone and also, if you’re so inclined, share a hot pic or video. Talking dirty when you’re far away from a partner doesn’t have to be embarrassing, and you shouldn’t feel any shame about doing it. Actually, it’s our humble belief that  sexting is something you should totally do  (you know, assuming you’re into it) to keep your relationship interesting. Not that it’s not already interesting! But if things are  lagging in the bedroom , sexting can be a great way to spice things up and show your partner that you’re still digging them, even if sometimes you’re a little too tired at the end of the day to have IRL sex. And you’re  still in the “honeymoon phase”  and want to keep it that way,  sext...
Read more

Many romantic relationships are actually doing fine under coronavirus lockdown, study finds

If you’ve been holding your breath, waiting for your relationship to crumble under coronavirus lockdown, well, take a breath. Maybe it won’t. A new poll suggests that Americans might not be headed for the coronavirus divorce spike that China has seen, and many Portland-area residents agree that their relationships are stronger than ever. A new national Monmouth University poll of people currently in a romantic relationship found the “vast majority” report that mostly their relationships have stayed the same as before the pandemic upended normal life. According to the findings, of Americans who are in romantic relationships, “59% say they are extremely satisfied with that relationship and 33% are very satisfied. Another 4% are somewhat satisfied and just 1% are either not too or not at all satisfied.” That “extremely satisfied” number is very close to previous national polls -- 57% in 2017 and 58% in 2014. The type of relationship also matters -- 64% of married partners ar...
Read more

‘It’s all about relationships and being that positive role model for the kids that need us the most’

MANCHESTER, NH  – Memorial High School Principal Arthur L. Adamakos said this past school year by far has been the most challenging in his 41-year-career with the Manchester School District. Adamakos this week reflected on his career with the Manchester School District now that his June 30th retirement is in sight. The COVID-19 pandemic upended the school year, resulting in remote learning since March and the cancellation of proms, award ceremonies and class trips.  And there is still no word on how the city’s four high schools will celebrate graduations. “My goal is to have a physical graduation, not a virtual one,” he said.  “That’s what I have been campaigning for.  Still, we’re going to have to practice social distancing.”  And administrators must figure out how to deliver diplomas.  “That could be interesting so there’s a lot to be discussed.  It’s in progress,” he said. It is important for the seniors but Adamakos is looking forward to it as well...
Read more