it's Always Getting Better in Our Relationships

Shawn Achor has made the observation that nothing is more critical to our success than holding on to the people around us. Too often, under stress, we try to go it alone, and then we begin to flounder. Positive relationships are the single greatest investment we can make in terms of the definition of happiness or well-being. Research indicates that the top 10% of the people around us are in that range because of the “strength of their social relationships.” On the other hand, lack of social support can add 30 points to our blood pressure.

So what are the characteristics of supportive relationships?  Two of the most important are:

  • Positive interactions
  • Generosity.

All of us have experienced the pleasure that comes from positive interactions with friends, family members or coworkers. The warmth and validation that results often lifts our spirits for hours and sometimes days. Even smiles and greetings in the hallway at work can lift spirits throughout the day. Numerous studies have demonstrated the beneficial effects of these experiences. In a 2015 article in the Harvard Business Review, Emma Seppala and Kim Cameron listed additional benefits, such as increased creativity, ability to bounce back from challenges and difficulties, more loyalty, greater employee engagement and higher levels of financial performance.

The second characteristic, generosity, is also clearly essential. A person who simply receives support—no matter how gratefully—but is unwilling to offer support to others cannot build strong relationships. Mutual giving is the glue that strengthens the bond between people. In addition, those who make a habit of helping others experience long-term health benefits. The Longevity Project, a study of social connections that began in 1921—and still continues, noted that “beyond social network size, the clearest benefit of social relationships came from helping others. Those who helped their friends and neighbors, advising and caring for others, tended to live to old age.”

Imagine the transformative effects that just these two characteristics would have on teamwork, relationships and productivity within organizations.

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