Strengthening relationships

WHITE RIBBON DAY

When it comes to women who are the victims of violent relationships, often the most difficult task can be maintaining a positive relationship with their children.

A unique Shepparton-based pilot program that began in October this year aims to bring mothers who have had hurtful experiences as a result of family violence and their young children together during the course of 22 weeks.

Children and Mothers in Mind facilitators Liz Meloury and Jeanette Monteith said they had hoped for more participants, but the program had been a success with just five weeks left to go.

‘‘The women in the program have been really enjoying it,’’ Ms Meloury said.

They said the program, delivered by the Caroline Chisholm Society, began with a six-week focus on the mother, her past traumas and what constitutes a healthy relationship, with the mothers sharing their stories.

‘‘It’s really great for them to hear someone else say something they’ve been thinking or feeling,’’ Ms Meloury said.

The mothers then spend 10 weeks with their children attending the program in a playgroup-style environment.

Here they enjoy reading books with themes related to families and relationships including self-care, self-esteem and mothering and the children can then take the book home.

Ms Meloury said one of the most difficult aspects of the program had been the different stages of recovery for participants, where some found it hard to attend each week.

‘‘They’re very different; it can be a challenge, but despite that they’re relating well to each other,’’ she said.

The children had also built strong bonds, according to the facilitators, becoming more like siblings than friends.

They have all experienced some form of family violence and, therefore, some degree of isolation and Ms Meloury said this was the common bond between all participants.

‘‘Abusive men actively work to alienate mum from her children,’’ she said.

Ms Meloury said this often came in the form of challenging a mother’s natural parenting instincts, breaking down her confidence and ability to enforce rules and structure in the children’s lives.

With just five weeks until the program is completed, Ms Meloury and Ms Monteith said they would do a new intake, starting in February next year.

‘‘We’d love to see it ongoing,’’ Ms Meloury said.

‘‘The more you do, the better you get and there’s an opportunity to create a playgroup with all the past participants.

‘‘It’s quite a big chunk of time for them to be coming in, so it would be great to see that.’’

Grants program

The Victorian Government last week opened its Family Violence Perpetrator Intervention Grants Program, which will see a $1.6million grants package available to intervention programs.

Profit and not-for-profit groups will be able to apply for up to $400000 in funding to pilot new interventions for perpetrators of family violence aged over 18 years in Victoria.

Attorney-General Martin Pakula encouraged organisations to apply for the grants, which close at 5pm on Wednesday, December 20.

Funded programs are expected to be completed by June 2019.

The funding also puts into action significant reforms under the Victorian Government’s 10-year plan ‘‘Ending Family Violence: Delivering Change’’, which highlighted the need to engage perpetrators and hold them to account to improve victim safety.

Statistics

●On average, one woman is killed every week in Australia by domestic violence.

●In the past 12 months, there were 16.9per cent (90274) recorded offences that related to a family incident in Victoria.

●In Victoria, 38.4 per cent (83705) family violence perpetrators had more than one family violence incident recorded over a ten-year period from January 2006 to December 2015.

●The proportion of perpetrators who had more than one incident recorded annually has increased significantly during the past 10 years, from 18.4 per cent in 2006 to 27.0 per cent in 2015 in Victoria.

— Statistics sourced from White Ribbon Australia and the Crime Statistic Agency of Victoria