I want to remember today







I want to remember the crazy excitement
the tossing and turning
of being in and out of sleep.

I want to remember the pure exhilaration 
the smile on my face 
waking up to an alarm in the middle of the night.

I want to remember the ecstatic happiness
texting you in the wee hours of the morning
knowing you’ve arrived, somewhere close by.

I want to remember the elated anticipation
sitting up eagerly in bed
looking for your reply.

I want to remember the sheer bliss
when you did 
making plans of when and how we’d meet.

I want to remember the mad manic
of the morning
as I blindly rushed through my chores.

I want to remember my furious heart beats
dashing through traffic lights
as I hurried back home.

I want to remember the painful waiting
of when you’d call
imagining all that we would share.

I want to remember the growing restlessness
repeatedly checking my phone
aimlessly pottering around in despair.

I want to remember the intense uneasiness
the worry of wondering why
you wouldn’t call or reply.

I want to remember the wretched anxiousness
every passing hour brought by
as I watched hope being crucified.

I want to remember the searing hurt
flowing through my blood
as the day passed me by.

I want to remember the curdling anger
when you messaged late at night
to nonchalantly say, couldn’t make it this time.

I want to remember the sharp sting
of being stood up 
yet another time.

I want to remember feeling so stupid
for making a big deal
of an opportunity you so casually let go by.

I want to remember my burning tears
every drop 
that stained my pillow.

I want to remember the punishing loneliness
of a day
I never thought would end this way.

I want to go out of my way
to remember today
so that I can forget you tomorrow.www.lastdon.org

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