Many young adults not prepared for relationships
The
University of Memphis Office of Institutional Equity hosted the Healthy
Relationships Fair to promote aspects of healthy relationships and safe,
and consensual sex April 17 at the Students Activities Plaza The
fair had 20 community and campus partnerships, like OUTMemphis and the U
of M Department of Psychology, that engaged students through games and
activities.
Victoria Jones, a
mental health counselor at the U of M counseling center, said one aspect
of a healthy relationship is commitment.
“You
can’t have a relationship if both people aren’t committed to it,” Jones
said. “ I (also) think one of the biggest things is communication.”
Jones also said a relationship has to be “balanced.”
“Knowing
there’s a ‘push and pull’ in a relationship, so you get a little and
you give a little,” Jones said. “Mutual respect is a big one.”
Anxiety,
insecurity and jealousy are just some of the many possible signs of an
unhealthy relationship. Although it is normal for relationships to have
ups and downs, many young people struggle to develop healthy
relationships, according to a 2017 Harvard University report.
The
Harvard report found a large number of teens and young adults are
unprepared for caring and long-lasting romantic relationships but are
anxious to develop them, and 70 percent of those surveyed said they
wished they received more information from their parents about emotional
aspects of romantic relationships.
Courtney
Harrough, the founder and president of Safety Net, a student
organization on campus that aims to provide peer-to-peer support for
students who have survived sexual assault, said one should take
advantage of their resources to make sure all aspects of their
relationship are healthy.
“A
lot of times people turn to the internet for resources on how to have a
healthy relationship,” Harrough said. “Sometimes going to your friends
or people that you trust, like a guidance counselor, a teacher or even a
community resource, is really beneficial.”
Harrough said a healthy relationship is based on trust, open communication and also a level of consent.
“Consent
doesn’t always mean sexual,” Harroguh said. “It can also mean, ‘Do you
like the way I’m acting in this relationship?’ or ‘Am I supporting your
needs?’ I feel like that’s a healthy relationship.”
In addition to what makes a healthy relationship, Harrough said there are warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.
“I
think a warning sign is if both partners’ needs aren’t being met,”
Harrough said. “So if someone is neglected or if you don’t feel safe
and if you don’t feel happy when you are with someone, I know that
relationships aren’t perfect, but if it is continually uncomfortable,
that’s probably a warning sign you need you reach out for help or
readjust.”
Detris Whitten, an
intern at CHOICES Memphis Center for Reproductive Health, said it is
important that a person has themselves figured out before getting into a
relationship.
“I think it
begins with you,” Whitten said. “If you’re a healthy person, your
self-esteem is where it needs to be and you’re functioning on a level
that you should be, I think that helps put you in a healthy
relationship. You attract healthy people.”
Whitten said it is also important to feel comfortable being oneself.
“I think it’s when you feel free to be yourself in a relationship, that makes it open and honest,” Whitten said.
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