Researcher: Technology is sabotaging relationships
NORMAL — People today are sabotaging their relationships through social media and online activities, says an Indiana professor who studies the topic.
And it's not only romantic relationships that are being affected, said Michelle Drouin, a psychology professor at Indiana University-Purdue University at Fort Wayne.
“Technology interferes in parenting and is stressing children,” said Drouin.
One way to address the problem, said Aimee Miller-Ott, associate professor of communication at Illinois State University, is to set boundaries, such as when to use the phone, when to be available by phone or text and how quickly you will respond to a message or expect a response. That creates less stress and fewer expectations, she said.
While Drouin studies the psychological aspects of social media, Miller-Ott studies the communication aspects. One of the problems, said Miller-Ott, is a lack of communication: “So many people don't want to say something, but they tend to get mad.”
Miller-Ott will be talking about the impact of cellphones on relationships at 7 p.m. April 16 at the ISU Alumni Center in north Normal. The talk is titled, “So Close, Yet So Far.”
Both professors agree that parent-child relationships are among those being impacted.
That behavior changes from tantrums when they're younger to looking for "likes" on Instagram as they get older, she said.
But the majority of Drouin's recent talk on “modern love” at ISU focused on the challenges of “finding love in a world of computer-mediated communication” — a place where having a lot of options is not necessarily a good thing.
When she was in college in 1993, just finding a potential mate was a mathematical challenge in an era without Facebook and instant messaging, and where even email was in its infancy, said Drouin.
“An overwhelming array of communication devices are now at our fingertips,” she noted.
But when she asked the mostly college-student crowd attending her lecture whether it was easier or more difficult to find and maintain a relationship today compared to 1993, the overwhelming majority answered that it was harder.
Among the reasons given were the too many options and too many “false alarms.”
Drouin said one of her concerns as a relationship theorist is that people don't invest the time in the relationship they have “because they think they have lots of choices.”
But an overload of choices can be paralyzing, said Drouin. It can lead to people constantly “switching out” and moving to the next person while still staying in contact with previous romantic partners, she said.
Both Drouin and Miller-Ott said cellphone use can create conflict and lower the level of satisfaction in a relationship.
“People don't like to say they need rules,” Miller-Ott said. “But we have found that people who have similar expectations (about phone use) are more satisfied with their relationship.”
Despite the conflicts, Drouin thinks people will work things out.
“One of the hallmarks of humanity is our adaptability,” said Drouin. “It's why we have survived as a species.”
“Technology interferes in parenting and is stressing children,” said Drouin.
One way to address the problem, said Aimee Miller-Ott, associate professor of communication at Illinois State University, is to set boundaries, such as when to use the phone, when to be available by phone or text and how quickly you will respond to a message or expect a response. That creates less stress and fewer expectations, she said.
While Drouin studies the psychological aspects of social media, Miller-Ott studies the communication aspects. One of the problems, said Miller-Ott, is a lack of communication: “So many people don't want to say something, but they tend to get mad.”
Miller-Ott will be talking about the impact of cellphones on relationships at 7 p.m. April 16 at the ISU Alumni Center in north Normal. The talk is titled, “So Close, Yet So Far.”
Both professors agree that parent-child relationships are among those being impacted.
That behavior changes from tantrums when they're younger to looking for "likes" on Instagram as they get older, she said.
But the majority of Drouin's recent talk on “modern love” at ISU focused on the challenges of “finding love in a world of computer-mediated communication” — a place where having a lot of options is not necessarily a good thing.
When she was in college in 1993, just finding a potential mate was a mathematical challenge in an era without Facebook and instant messaging, and where even email was in its infancy, said Drouin.
“An overwhelming array of communication devices are now at our fingertips,” she noted.
But when she asked the mostly college-student crowd attending her lecture whether it was easier or more difficult to find and maintain a relationship today compared to 1993, the overwhelming majority answered that it was harder.
Among the reasons given were the too many options and too many “false alarms.”
Drouin said one of her concerns as a relationship theorist is that people don't invest the time in the relationship they have “because they think they have lots of choices.”
But an overload of choices can be paralyzing, said Drouin. It can lead to people constantly “switching out” and moving to the next person while still staying in contact with previous romantic partners, she said.
Both Drouin and Miller-Ott said cellphone use can create conflict and lower the level of satisfaction in a relationship.
“People don't like to say they need rules,” Miller-Ott said. “But we have found that people who have similar expectations (about phone use) are more satisfied with their relationship.”
Despite the conflicts, Drouin thinks people will work things out.
“One of the hallmarks of humanity is our adaptability,” said Drouin. “It's why we have survived as a species.”
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