Relationship goals

There was no need to ask grandpa how to clean the fish, I just googled it . Teen explaining how he learned to clean his first catch. We’ve achieved the goal of fewer divorces by having many fewer marriages. We’ve reduced promiscuity by substituting smartphones and pornography. We’ve leveled off out-of-wedlock births by entering into a major baby bust. Ross Douthat NYT As a society we have mostly responded to our relationship challenges by disengaging from certain individuals and groups. Whether we’ve done so intentionally or not, the result is fewer go-to relationships, less relational diversity, more separation and greater isolation. Our abandoned relationships are often both cause and effect of our growing technology dependence. Just as eliminating physical work does not eliminate the need for physical exercise, we are now learning that ready-access to information via smart phones and...

Photo             Humans are creatures of habit. If you could build good habits, you’d be on your way to a better life. But building good life long habits is hard. You will feel amazing if every time you put your mind to something, you got it done in a specific and realistic time. You didn’t start and stop. You never got off track. You just finished what you started — no questions asked. The truth is, you’re more than capable of achieving every goal you set. But if you really want to accomplish the goals you set, you need a better strategy for getting things done. A proven system that helps you stick to — and finish — everything you start. And it all begins in the mind. If you are not satisfied with your life and desperately want to change, you will find a way. Many people would rather find an excuse to support their inability to change. Marshall Goldsmith explains in his book, Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts — Be...

Logical, emotional and “happiness” standpoints                     Cover art, “Two Hundred Years of The American Circus” Marriage made a lot of sense once upon a time Mostly when women didn’t have the same roles and rights as men, and were effectively private property (a societal legacy that still influences our oddly-upheld traditions of a bride being “walked down the aisle” and taking her husband’s last name.) Women didn’t have access to the workplace, so needed financial security. Men had income, but needed heirs. The exchange was simple. (And during the Victorian era, we prettied it up a bit by convincing ourselves it was about “love,” too.) We’ve come a long way. Women have equal rights and roles in the workforce, so they don’t need financial security anymore. And while folks might still be interested in reproduction, does marriage still play a role? Please note: we aren’t comparing “marri...

            Einstein Perhaps the biggest myth in Western culture is that we are born with a fixed and intrinsic personality — that who we are when we’re born is who we’ll be when we die. This view is extremely dominant among Baby Boomers, who grew up in homes and with parents who had been absorbed in “trait” based value systems. In Chronological order , let’s examine the dominant leadership theories over the past 180 years. 1840’s — “The Great Man Theory” of leadership assumed that ONLY MEN could be great leaders. If you didn’t have the TRAIT of being a man, you were not destined to be a leader. Your nature is fixed, and you have NO ABILITY to rise up to challenges or grow into your goals. This theory was the pervasive and cultural belief system for nearly 100 years. 1930’s and 40's — “The Trait Theory” of leadership assumed that people are born with certain qualities that make them excel in leadership roles. ...

Photo by Daniel Olah on  Unsplash Your life is your creation. You have most things you need to shape it and make it incredible. It’s not something that happens to you — unless you abandon your position as its chief architect. If you think your life is out of your control, it’s because you’ve chosen to relinquish the controls. Your life will improve the moment you realize life isn’t something to be endured or tolerated. It’s an experience of your own creation. If your life sucks, it’s because you’ve been a sucky creator. But you can get better. Getting unstuck is about making simple decisions and taking actions, always moving away from what you don’t want and towards what you want. If you don’t know what you want, then just move away from what you don’t wantuntil you figure it out. You are immensely resilient. Even when you’re in seemingly hopeless situations, we can still dig yourself out and make something better of it. These mindsets can radic...