New Mexico State students try to handle long-distance relationships
Relationships
are an essential part of getting through college—whether they are
through professors, advisors, bosses or loved ones. College students who
make the move away from home to attend school often leave their loved
ones behind—sometimes these loved ones are romantic partners that they
hold onto through a long-distance relationship. Some students find that
this type of relationship during college is not worth it while others
may view it as worthwhile.
Some students may view being in a long-distance
relationship as a complete waste of time or as a distraction. Other may
find the relationship to be well worth it even if it means dealing with
separation. The Round Up spoke with several students with
experience in dating long-distant to explore the circumstances that make
up these relationships.
Celeste Ramirez from Wilcox, Arizona put an end to her
four-year relationship that was long-distance for one year the day
before she came to New Mexico State University.
Ramirez began dating her ex-boyfriend when she was a
freshman and he was a sophomore in high school. Their relationship
became long-distance during her senior year when he moved to North
Dakota on a wrestling scholarship. The only time they saw one another
that year was when he came home for winter and summer break.
“We found ways to communicate—through FaceTime and text,”
Ramirez said. “Once college wrestling season started, I would only
exchange a few texts with him because he was constantly training and
attending classes.”
She realized a few months into the separation how
difficult the relationship was becoming since she had always been used
to spending every day together. When there was communication, it was
mostly fighting. Ramirez says it was not long until she felt the two of
them drifting apart even though neither one wanted to end it.
“There was no spark and no feelings—We both knew it was
not going anywhere from there [when he came home for the summer],”
explains Ramirez. She soon found out that he been cheating on her,
wanting no part of the long-distance relationship any longer, and moved
to attend NMSU the following day with a fresh start.
Ramirez says she does not regret the relationship, but
knows now that she would never be in a long-distance relationship again
while her perspective on relationships has changed.
Since moving, she says “I am so much happier now because I
am focused on growing by myself, finding out who I truly am, and not
having to worry about someone else holding me back.”
Amado Borrego began his current relationship as a
sophomore in the same high school as his freshman girlfriend. They
became long-distance last fall when Borrego left Silver City, New Mexico
to attend school in Las Cruces.
He has been with her for almost four years.
“Sometimes we have our downs because long distance is
hard. It is going to be worth it in the end and that is what keeps it
going.” explains Borrego.
Borrego attends Dona Ana Community College to study
radiology while his girlfriend will begin her education in nursing this
fall at Western New Mexico University in Silver City.
Borrego and his girlfriend accepted one another’s
academic visions, which includes locations of their educations, and this
allowed their relationship to keep going once separation by distance
came along. He says his girlfriend would like to attend WNMU because she
is interested in its nursing program and he made the move to Las Cruces
because there is not a radiology program back home.
When asked about what realizing that him and his
girlfriend would be separated by distance for many semesters to come, he
explained, “We just wanted to see what was best for us and [agreed] it
would be worth it [for us to stay together].”
He also says it is exciting in a different sense now when he gets the chance to see her.
Las Cruces is about 100 miles from Silver City and a
two-hour drive away. When Borrego is away, he keeps in touch with his
girlfriend through text messages and phone calls. He says that he also
likes to make a few trips during the semester to go visit her.
Freshman Calise Cotrell has been in a relationship, the
majority of it being long-distance. Her and her boyfriend both came from
a small town in Texas and knew each other their whole lives. They have
been dating for three years.
The long-distance aspect of their relationship began
during her sophomore year in high school when he began college at NMSU
and then transferred to a university in San Antonio, Texas. Like
Ramirez, Cotrell also agrees that communication in long-distance can be
challenging. She has seen how not only communication, but also other
issues as well take a little more effort in a long-distance
relationship.
Long-distance in college has been an adjustment for
Cotrell in comparison to high school. She says communicating has been
easier since her transformation to NMSU despite being very busy and
dealing with a one-hour time difference. She feels that the ease has
come from learning and moving on from old experiences. Being in college,
she feels that her gaining more maturity has been a great asset to
keeping her relationship strong.
“We know now how important it is to talk to one another
about the little and big stuff,” says Cottrel. When she does reach out
to him, Cotrell has to have his schedule in mind to be sure that she is
not interfering with any of his activities.
One way that Cotrell keeps up with her boyfriend is
through FaceTime, a feature that people in this day and age are lucky to
have access to. She says that they sometimes have study dates through
FaceTime.
“Finding ways to be a ‘normal” couple from afar is always interesting,” said Cotrell.
The transition from a previous life to the college life
can be difficult for anyone. College students put so many aspects of
their life on hold or move on from them. However, everyone writes a
different story for their life and students choose is who is worth
keeping during this adventurous time.
“In my opinion, long-distance is not worth it; but I do
recommend that people try it and get their own opinion on it. It is very
difficult especially when you are 2,500 miles away from each other like
my ex and I were.” said Ramirez. “It was really tough, but I have
learned so much about myself and how important self-love is—so I am glad
I went through that.”
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