How to use emotions to build relationships that work

Inspirational speaker Tony Robbins gave a short speech you can find on YouTube about how to use emotions to build relationships that work.

 Motion creates emotions and emotions are the basis for every relationship you have.

Use your body

If you use your body to its fullest, you’ll feel more alive. But in our Western cultures, we shrink how we use our bodies. We rarely touch others, let alone greet them effusively.

What would happen if you greeted people like they were your long-lost lover or best friend? Give them your best. I guarantee you’ll feel better emotionally and the person you greeted will, too.

But whenever we say we have given our best, especially in our current culture, you cannot always count on it as the truth. You can always rise to another level.

Consider the Olympics. Every four years for countless centuries, athletes consistently break records. They run faster, jump higher, and lift more weight.

What they know that we do not is whenever you get to what you think is your best, another possibility opens.

So, greet people by using more of your body. Use more muscles in your face. Breathe more air in, talk faster and louder. And do not be afraid to touch them.

It feels good.

Why do we get into relationships in the first place?

People get in a relationship because of the feelings we think they will bring. We do not want a relationship that feels like another job.

Do any of your relationships feel like working a less than desirable job? Are others encouraging you to stay with it? You can change that negative emotion by rejuvenating the individual.

You may think you are in a relationship to be happy, to learn deep lessons, and more. But at its core, every relationship rests on one truth:

We all want to magnify human emotion

You start a relationship to feel something.

What’s the first thing you do when you get good news? You want to share it with someone close. And if you have an intimate relationship that is safe with trust and respect, there is no greater place.

Controlling emotions when something bad happens?

There are three things you need to control your emotions around when something bad happens. How you answer the following questions will shape your life, your relationships, and your destiny:

1.       What are you going to focus on? For example, will you focus on what this situation means to your life, or will you focus on something inconsequential like “who is he/she to tell me that?”

2.       What does this mean? For example, do you think this is the end or the beginning of something? You will behave quite differently if you think it is the beginning versus the end.

3.       What are you going to do? Are you going to focus on the negative, or are you going to take action?

Your emotions are your life. Notice how angry people always get angry when something happens, sad people get sad, someone who feels guilty all the time will find a way to blame herself, etc.

Do you know someone who gets angry no matter what?

Do you also know someone who isn’t that funny, but thinks they are? They laugh so hard at their own jokes, you laugh along.

Which one would you rather spend time with?

When you are in a relationship, any type, you magnify your emotions. If you want to change a relationship, change the emotion surrounding it. The best way to change emotion is to retrain your body.

Since motion creates emotion, learn to celebrate for no good reason. A relationship without celebration is dead. Joy in any relationship is the basis of real connection. 

Finally, you don’t need an excuse to feel good. And if you want to lead your team and have influence as a leader, then step out and celebrate your team, their lives, and successes. Remember to celebrate just for celebration’s sake, too. 

I guarantee you will feel better and your relationships will flourish.