Opinion | Red flags in unhealthy relationships


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Alia Kaneko, left, and Sasha Rosenfeld kiss during spring in Seattle, Wash. Spring is a great time to reassess what makes you happy in a relationship and reconnect with your partner.
As we reach Valentine’s Day and begin moving into spring, more people are trying to enter relationships. If you aren’t currently searching for a significant other, you may already be in a relationship. If this sounds like you, making sure that the relationship is healthy and beneficial to your personal well-being is crucial.
The health of our romantic and intimate relationships is something many people have trouble maintaining. Often, we choose not to even consider the health of our relationships.
If your relationship exhibits any of these traits, it may be unhealthy.
  1. Dishonesty/Lying
  2. Physical Abuse
  3. Emotional Abuse
  4. Disrespect
  5. Dependence on you/them
  6. Hostility
  7. Intimidation
  8. Control
An unhealthy relationship can make you feel anxious, stressed and even afraid for your safety. You may feel like the negatives outweigh the positives. If so, it is a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Healthy relationships are based in trust, balance and mutual respect, to sum it up generally. There are many other dimensions to healthy relationships, but recognizing the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship and evaluating them against your own love life can be very helpful.
When discussing healthy versus unhealthy relationships, we must also explain the importance of consent.
Being in a relationship does not necessarily mean you or your partner will always consent to sexual activity. You are not obligated to consent to sex if you are in a relationship, and no still means no just as it would if you were simply hooking up with no strings attached. You should still have open conversation and set clear, mutually respected boundaries in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to say no to things you’re uncomfortable with.
Maintaining mutual control is a crucial way to keep your relationship healthy. Relationships are partnerships, and one partner should never make the rules for the other. Your significant other does not define what you should and shouldn’t do with your life. Making decisions together is healthy, but telling your partner what to do places an element of control over the other. Control is a significant risk factor for sexual and domestic violence.
If you think that you are in an unhealthy relationship, there are many resources available to you. First, reaching out to a peer or family member that you genuinely trust can help you define the health of your relationship and decide what to do if it is unhealthy. Ending an unhealthy relationship is difficult, but it is often the best choice to make.
If an unhealthy relationship is abusive in nature, there several are resources available on and off campus which directly serve UC student victims.

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