Relationship Matters: The causes of some immoral actions
All people are faced with the need to make various
decisions in life. Most decisions are relatively inconsequential, with
no long-term impact on the decision-maker or others. Yet, some choices
may be very important and of long-range implications for the decider and
others who are impacted by these actions. Currently, we have been
encountering firing of famous, professionally competent men who took
immoral liberties that led to their loss of employment, shame and public
humiliation, and caused deep pain to their families. What enabled these
powerful men to violate the rights of others with no consideration for
the abused, the implications to their families, the public, their jobs
and reputation?
The quick answer is: Grandiosity, the sense of empowerment that bears no consequences. The entitlement to serve their needs without any consideration for the victims, their marital commitments, their own reputation or any thought about the disgrace that may befall their families. It is the sense of “sublime entitlement”. Even young children are taught behavioral boundaries that they must abide by for fear of the consequences, but Narcissists feel compelled to please themselves with no regard for their victims, their families, the public shame they will encounter, or any potential harm to themselves.
The Mayo Clinic description of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is “a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.”
The lack of moral fortitude combined with the sole focus on self-pleasing blinds the narcissist from considering any possible outcome to his/her behavior. Yet, when one is caught and /or punished, he/she feels victimized, misunderstood and unjustifiably accused. Recent public examples portrayed the offenders as “regretful about losing their job” — not about their actions that led to their firing.
Since Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not treatable or curable, alienation is the only path for public safety. The fired individuals did not state that they are sorry for their victims, or for embarrassing their partners and kids, only about losing their jobs and generous paychecks.
Another deterrent for abusers may be the public rejection, or legal prosecution. After enough public firing and humiliation, perhaps some will curtail their impulses to please themselves at all cost. Expecting that they will learn to curb their impulses on their own, is unlikely due to their sense of entitlement. Narcissists lack the capacity to empathize with the pain or suffering of another, or to consider how they would feel if these actions were forced upon them. They do not feel remorse or regret since they delude themselves that the pleasure was mutual and that the victim was honored by their attention and attraction.
The quick answer is: Grandiosity, the sense of empowerment that bears no consequences. The entitlement to serve their needs without any consideration for the victims, their marital commitments, their own reputation or any thought about the disgrace that may befall their families. It is the sense of “sublime entitlement”. Even young children are taught behavioral boundaries that they must abide by for fear of the consequences, but Narcissists feel compelled to please themselves with no regard for their victims, their families, the public shame they will encounter, or any potential harm to themselves.
The Mayo Clinic description of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is “a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.”
The lack of moral fortitude combined with the sole focus on self-pleasing blinds the narcissist from considering any possible outcome to his/her behavior. Yet, when one is caught and /or punished, he/she feels victimized, misunderstood and unjustifiably accused. Recent public examples portrayed the offenders as “regretful about losing their job” — not about their actions that led to their firing.
Since Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not treatable or curable, alienation is the only path for public safety. The fired individuals did not state that they are sorry for their victims, or for embarrassing their partners and kids, only about losing their jobs and generous paychecks.
Another deterrent for abusers may be the public rejection, or legal prosecution. After enough public firing and humiliation, perhaps some will curtail their impulses to please themselves at all cost. Expecting that they will learn to curb their impulses on their own, is unlikely due to their sense of entitlement. Narcissists lack the capacity to empathize with the pain or suffering of another, or to consider how they would feel if these actions were forced upon them. They do not feel remorse or regret since they delude themselves that the pleasure was mutual and that the victim was honored by their attention and attraction.
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